The other day my husband and I were in WalMart, and saw this couple having a huge arguement. The wife apparently thought they needed a better coffeepot and her husband was saying the one they had was just fine. She told him "well know what? If you don't want any coffee than don't make any from my damn pot and I am getting this!!" My husband was appalled that they would argue like that in public. But honestly we have seen it before. I know better than to do something like that. If that was me I wouldn't be able to sit for days. And I see it worse on facebook and twitter. I see wives bad talking their husbands and flat out admitting to disrespecting them and ordering them around and having it ALL their way.
I don't get where people these days feels that is ok. And yes my husband has said "maybe if he took charge and put her over his knee and spanked her til she couldn't sit for a while he would get more respect." I know that I feel so much when I have gotten disciplined from my husband. That he won't take me degrading him and putting him down. No DD probably won't work for every couple but I think every couple should maybe give it a chance and I don't understand why more men don't want to do it and have respect.
And I have tried to point out to friends what they could do to help their marriage but then bash me for how I live my marriage. I think deep down some people who bash our lifestyle don't fully understand it or deep down want it.
I just never think a wife ordering her husband around is accecptable and the husband shouldn't have to take it or be afraid of his wife. I wish they all would know submission is great and not bad.
Also I don't agree that just because a woman has been through bad stuff gives her an excuse to disrespect her husband. Being in bad moods or hurt for another reason is never a reason to take it out on our spouses. And again I don't think a man should allow it, and it will help his wife more to take control or not let her push him away or disrespect him.
I also have a bedtime because my husband wants me to get plenty of sleep and I am not allowed ot sleep too late, past 9am because he wants me to be more productive during the day. I have friends who do nothing but watch tv all day and don't clean at all while their husbands do all the work. I don't think that is right. I think it is our place to pull our own and have different roles at home. He appreciates everything I do also. Especially when I make him his favorite dinner without him asking for it. And seeing my husband happy is a great feeling to me.
Hi Sarah! I know what you mean about women being so publically disrespectful to their husbands. I see it a lot and it bothers me too. Even before we started DD, I thought it was just sad.
ReplyDeleteJust look at all the TV shows that reinforce the idea that men are to be ridiculed for our amusement. They don't dare do anything about it. They might be accused of domestic violence or of being "mean".
I once saw a women at the park teaching her daughter how to flip off her father! He just sat there silently!
Anyway, sorry for the long comment. Your post got me going a little bit! :)
Incidents like this make my butt clench to watch - because I'd probably be walked out of Wal-Mart, the shopping postponed, taken home to be lectured and spanked for the public display. Sad really to see people treat eachother this way, and in public!
ReplyDeleteA great post. Completely agree with Christina!
ReplyDeleteI believe the most important thing we get out of DD (for me anyway) is respect. I would never behave like that in public because I respect my husband, but also he respects me. I think a lot of people don't realise that it is also about the husband respecting the wife too.
Sam
I don't have a problem with people who follow DD in their relationship. However, since I go to work just like my husband and support the family financially I feel I should get the say in what I do. I would't say I act particularly bratty towards him or do anything too out of control but there is the occasional staying out later then he asks or not listening to him. We DO argue and we both feel the need to be the one who is right and needs the last word in. I would never fight with him in a public setting like that, although I have argued a bit with him in front of our friends in our own home. I only argue because I honestly feel like I know best for certain situations even though he is older then me by 5 years and tells me he has more experience. The idea of feeling so fully trusted in a husband enough to know that his judgement is always right sounds nice, but I just don't trust people enough for that. Interesting blog piece! I bet if I didn't have those trust issues DD would help cut back on those every once and while agonizing arguments we get into.
ReplyDelete